21st Century Warmup
by Ember Nickel
Summary: Four years after "Boulevard of Broken Reeds", the director has a new challenge; freshman band. Kristen has a solo. Joshua is the only oboe in ninth grade...and that means color guard. Parody of "21st Century Breakdown" by Green Day.
1. Song of the Century

Play me a song, let me start over  
Longer than long bombs and turnovers  
Don't be confused by the field delay.  
I'll lead for you if you only play.  
Play out a story under the field lights,  
The football team loses, try as they might.  
Start playing a song of the century  
Or I'll panic at promised posterity.  
Play out an anthem for homecoming night.  
Play out a song for me.


	2. 21st Century Warmup

Born into Clinton, you were raised by Bush  
Just little children, your heads full of mush.  
The last ones born to arrive at high school,  
These are the freshmen, each one a blind fool.

This generation is crazy  
You'll have to work, there's no time for the lazy.

21st century warmup  
Get your horns ready, time to tune up  
I think I'm losing what's left of the band  
To your 20th century demands.

You are made of blood and fresh air  
So hold your breath, even if you don't care.  
Video games are for summer. Fall  
Is for the marching band, play for us all.

This generation is crazy  
You'll have to work, there's no time for the lazy.

21st century warmup  
Get your horns ready, time to tune up  
I think I'm losing what's left of the band  
To your 20th century demands.

This is the class of the class of thirteen?  
Listen and I'll teach you humility.  
It's getting desperate, we're in decline.  
Everybody get onto the home sideline.

Your name is no one, you think you're all that  
Marched on the 4th of July  
I'll teach you to march till you have it down pat  
But leave you for dead or alive.

This is your school and it should be your pride  
Your debts to the football team  
The scars on your feet from endzone to endzone  
Is all that is left of the dream.

You'll swallow your spit and you'll choke on your reed  
You'll risk both your heart and your soul.  
You'll break your fingers and you'll exhaust your teeth  
You'll keep playing notes though half-whole.

You'll be to the sideline as they throw a pass  
No matter if it's incomplete  
You'll learn to hurry up and learn to wait.  
You'll learn to get used to defeat.

So pick up your horns  
The freedom to fit in  
Is the song that you will sing  
Well, don't cross the line.

Stay, little freshmen, stay.  
You won't wilt beneath  
The Friday night lights.

Play, little freshmen, play.  
Believe what you hear  
If you play it right...


	3. Know The Melody

Do you know the melody?  
Do you know the melody?  
Well gotta know the melody within.

Gotta know your harmony  
Fit with the melody,  
Well gotta know your harmony, uh-huh.

Color guard's a trifle  
The band doesn't need rifles  
The greatest honor is just to play.

Breaking down their apathy  
A dull plurality  
Light a fire in the autumn cold.

Silence is the enemy  
Against the melody  
So listen to the music in your soul.

Do you know the melody?  
Do you know the melody?  
Well gotta know the melody within.

What you think you hear is lies  
You can only trust your eyes.  
Don't be deafened when they play  
Field delay

Well, gotta know your harmony  
Even far backfield you'll see  
You gotta know your harmony  
So give me some memorization!

(Repeat verses as needed.)


	4. Hang In There, Joshua

Hey Joshua, are you standing in front alone?  
Look out to the bleachers in the field lights' glare  
You're only youth, and your future still is vast.  
The cracks in their notes will show, not too many years have passed.  
You can't play any higher, you can't play any more  
But still you can inspire, it's what you've waited for.  
Hey Joshua, this is why you're all alone  
The chance of your life will come in the silence of night.

Joshua, hang in there Joshua  
Don't blast the sound, you can hardly hope to march  
Falling behind again and breaking down your spirit  
Humiliated in the crowd

Joshua, come on now Joshua  
You'll find a home in all our flags and all our rifles  
You'll find your place by standing still among the marchers  
A great chance when you're just a youth

Don't break your knuckles in the fingerings  
As autumn's wind gives way to cold  
The echoes fade, there are no lingerings  
Take your chance before you get old  
So put away your reed-carving knife

Joshua, come on now Joshua  
Don't lose your song, you can pick it up next trimester  
Weather the wind and don't look ahead to December  
Focus on what you're doing now

Joshua, come on now Joshua  
I'll give you amnesty, don't bother with the marching  
Make this the season that we always will remember  
Don't let the field lights shine in vain.

So Joshua, time to perform under  
The lights that blaze on Friday night  
Joshua, you don't have to wonder  
This is the first break of your life  
Your life!


	5. On the Practice Field

Dreaming  
You were only dreaming  
Of another place and time  
What high school would be.

Playing  
You could hear them playing  
Before the rain washed away  
Their nightmare, my dream.

Losing  
Never is amusing  
Hearts are drowned in misery  
That's what I have seen.

Laughter  
There is no more laughter  
Songs of yesterday now live  
Back in middle school.

Life is good on the practice field  
Before the real truth is revealed.  
Play, don't look for a memory  
Of what you had though this would be.

That's not enough, play it again  
Move in from the far flanks, yard ten  
Again my hopes come crashing down  
My dreams extinguished on the ground.

Kristen's part, is it memorized?  
Play it out, don't look mesmerized.  
Remember the fingerings and  
Embouchures, it's more than your hand.

You're not too young, you're just messed up  
Don't play so high, don't transpose up  
I must be cursed or just depressed.  
Are you in love or just a mess?

Like freshmen, they  
Will lose just like freshmen  
Like freshmen, they  
Will lose just like freshmen  
The brutality of reality  
Is the truth that prevents me from

Dreaming...


	6. Kristen's Solo

You need to get a grip, this really isn't bad  
You'll get the rejection letter by e-mail, you can come crying to me then  
The season's passing, and each bitter loss, seen from the stands  
Is disappointing, but a new future is in your hands.

Whoa, it's Kristen's solo!

This diabolic song's disgracing my existence.  
Like some catastrophic children, maybe you're just looking for distraction.  
But you're the freshman class, you are the chosen ones.  
I'll blow up at you if we can return to success.

Whoa, it's Kristen's solo!


	7. Another Day of Practice

You're texting there in the back row  
Oh yes, I know  
Sending all your love and woe  
All of you are the glare of my life each day  
And each day I build up woe.

My lashing tongue belongs to you  
You'll march for yards if I tell you  
I'm doing this for you  
If they lose every game, we'll still play  
I'm sending all my woe to you.

With every breath each of you take  
Each mistake  
I'm sending all my woe to you  
So if you dare to second-guess  
You won't rest until  
You know my woe's for you.

My lashing tongue belongs to you  
You'll march for yards if I tell you  
I'm doing this for you  
If they lose every game, we'll still play  
Assuming you make it through...


	8. March of the Guard

_Author's note: "East Jesus Nowhere" was originally titled "March of the Dogs"._

Raise your flag high up in the air  
Your best efforts won't lead anywhere  
If you're not good enough. It's not fair  
But I am far too old to care

Just one oboe, just a trifle  
You're a soldier, grab a rifle

Put my faith in a picture drill  
Can't tell if you'll make it, hope you will  
Join the band, you'll be playing  
If we're lucky you'll be staying

The others play today  
And you still have to labor  
Just not in the same way  
So pick up that saber.

We can't save them, they cannot win  
It's been a year since any of you tried  
Throw down your instrument, that's not what you're about  
Dress in your Friday clothes, have some school pride.

Try your best for your family  
Do it right for humanity  
Yes, that uniform is flattering  
So please don't ask me anything!

Don't test me  
Second guess me  
Protest me.  
Do I make things clear?

I want to know who's allowed to come  
Can't hear the melody but plays the drum  
Mellow mellophones, gossipy flutes  
A trumpet whose own horn is all she toots.


	9. Color Guard

Well, I've got a farce here  
A non-marcher  
Not an exciting place.  
Though I'm the director  
I will not make you play.

No need for screaming, hey hey  
Hey hey hey hey hey  
I'll make the band listen  
To what I have to say.

Well, take out the drill sheet  
It won't kill ya  
There's nothing there to hate.  
For what will divide you?  
only the fifty-yard line.

You're more than a child, hey hey,  
Hey hey hey hey hey  
Ignore the girl at the end of the serenade.

No eyeful, she's no eyeful.  
Grab your rifle, that's right.  
Inspire, do not desire.  
Shots, bells, and rimshots will ring out on Friday night.

You're an oboe, not a hobo,  
Don't wander around the field.  
In times like this, it's a weakness to love.

Where's the drill captain? Hey hey,  
Hey hey hey hey hey  
Ignore the lover that you've been dreaming of.

Well, it's time to stand up  
Can't make it up, cocktails on the way.  
You thought you were a write-off,  
You'd better think again.

Call up the color guard, hey hey  
Hey hey hey hey hey  
You're growing up, what you thought was now is then.

Well, I'm the director, no protector  
So you're on your own, you're the color guard.  
Save your Valentines, don't think about her.

I'll call out the measure, hey hey  
Hey hey hey hey hey  
Hang out with the trumpet after she's played.


	10. Last of the American Fools

You put your makeup on? I can't tell from high up on the podium.  
All I see is that you've still got your music in your hand.  
Makes me paranoid, like the good soloists are bound for extinction.  
Hope you're one of a kind, hope you're the last of the American fools.

You wear your uniform and you think that you're something special.  
You're just walking along, a fugitive with a long way to go.  
I'm hungry for something more, but I don't think you're all that impressive.  
You play enough to survive, but that isn't enough, oh no.

You're a runaway, from the establishment emancipated  
You won't cooperate, hope you're the last of the American fools.

Will you play mp3s, learn the song on the eve of homecoming?  
Are you a sucker for all the bad marchers breaking the ranks?  
Will you come in first, running off the field in desperation?  
Am I balanced on this podium just to walk the planks?

Like a siren sound in the heart of the big formation  
You're a waiting disaster, you're the last of the American fools.


	11. Listen

Desperate  
My hope fading  
I can't be useful  
If none of you listen

Desperate  
I'd be helpful  
The clock will read twelve  
Minutes to play. Listen!

You'll have to go  
Play the pregame show.  
This demonstration  
Gives me anguish.

Your empty horns must  
Face the music  
Like a bottle  
Devoid of fluid.

Yeah, you're just first years  
But you're still pathetic.

Kristen's trying  
In the center  
But I just want to  
Bum a ride away

The game's not far  
Listen, I'll tell you.  
It's written  
All over the schedule.


	12. Hang In There Little Kids

Little kids, little kids  
What are you playing?  
Inside your resting horns  
The sound's decaying.

Little ones, little ones  
Your soles are marching  
From sideline to endzone  
Your lips are parching.

Come and play  
But keep steady on your feet  
And don't bury your face in your flip folder.  
Please don't stray  
Keep in rank like an army  
There is no place like home  
For alumni long ago.

Little kids, little kids  
Your life is waiting  
Drum majors and minor  
Chords echo softly.

Little ones, little ones  
Forget your dating  
The only ship of the year  
Is now sailing.

No mistakes on game day  
Rhythm and reason  
It's all for this  
The highlight of the season.

Little kids, little kids  
You must understand  
I'm going insane  
Preaching to the band.


	13. Restless Foot Syndrome

You've got no clue what's going on  
You're walking around but doing it wrong  
So take it back a set or two  
'Cause something seems to be missing.

I'll take your drill sheets all away  
And then we'll see if you can march and play.  
So send me to the podium  
And get it in your memory.

Now I'm jaded  
And frustrated  
You know I've tried to find a way  
To make you play.

You know there is no easy cure  
For distracted hearts, feeling insecure.  
You'd be surprised what I endure  
What makes you feel so self-assured?

I need you all to spread out wide  
You don't know how much room you'll take up outside  
The accidents that we could find  
It will strip you of all your pride.

So what ails you is what fails you  
I feel like I've been paralyzed and unsatisfied

I'm a victim, not a victor  
I cannot play the melody  
You're not victims, you're just children  
You cannot play the melody  
Know your melody.


	14. The Football Team Punts

I'm not messing around  
I want you marching out  
All the mistaking and faking  
I think you need a leader right now.

Want you to make lots of sound  
Want you to drown me out  
Well you missed it, kissed them  
Don't you know that you stick out?

Maybe you're a champion  
But you only triumph once  
Almost only really matters  
When the football team punts

I'm gonna start the countdown  
Until you're going out  
Cause everything that you play was made so I could say  
Leave your ground now

So don't try messing around  
Because I'll shout you down  
I'm gonna yell and conduct  
And I'm pushing my luck all the time now.

Aggravation, self-distraction  
How can I force you kids into action?  
Aggravation, self-distraction  
You don't respect me or my old age?


	15. The Silent Age

Can you hear the sound of the silent noise  
Blasting all around you?  
Man, you freshman class make me real annoyed  
Music in my nervous system.

Distracted by love, an obsession  
None of you will listen  
Balanced on the edge of slow decay  
Visions of flying flags, spirits sag,  
I'm screaming at you;

I can't see you march where you need to go  
I can't hear the sounds that you need to know  
You're scaring me in the silent age.

When the field lights shine in the dusk's landscape  
I'll demand your sanity.  
Madness would be tragic, watch your feet.  
I need perfect execution.

All your conscience lost and your heart's over there  
Wonder if you've lost your mind.  
Are you just your own, can I make you mine?  
I need you to check your drill, so you will,  
I'm screaming at you:

Hey hey it's the silent age  
No wonder the team hasn't won.  
Hey hey it's the silent age  
You're not this dumb.

All I want to hear is the trumpet sing  
Not what's on my computer.  
All I want to do is I want to lead  
Maybe I was just deluded.

What's the latest day that a band can fail?  
Is it in the playoffs? As  
Early as "the dawn's early light?"  
Silence in November, remember  
Me screaming at you...


	16. Bring Out The Guns

Do you know who's worth playing for?  
Even if the team cannot score?  
And their breath is fading away  
But you wish that you still were playing?

Does your school give you any pride?  
Do you think I'm a crazy guide?  
Do you wish you could stay inside  
And not march out?

Hey, bring out the guns  
Pick up your arms, this is the night  
Hey, bring out the guns  
Throw up your arms into the sky  
Don't ask why.

When you're at the end of the fall  
Just one game to decide it all  
And you know you're against the wall  
When you already are tired of football

You'll walk out onto that grass  
Before the first incomplete pass  
Hoping they don't come in last  
Time to march out.

Did you try to go it alone?  
This is your team, this is your home  
Did you think that this wasn't dire  
Like a lyre that won't help with your tone.

When it's time to do or to die  
And you can't get another try  
Take a chance, flip a coin, roll the die  
Time to march out.


	17. Ninth Graders' Euphony

Play me the song of the century  
It sounds just like ninth graders' euphony  
The dawn of your love and complacency  
Forgotten notes from the class of '13  
Play out an anthem for homecoming night.  
Play out a song for me.

Ignoring me  
Class ignoring me  
Class ignoring me  
Class ignoring me

Matching uniforms mingle in panic  
As you mill about, so dynamic  
Marching out to applause from the fanatics  
And the neighborhood's alive with sound.

Idle feet won't stand, you'd better mark time  
Just keep going till you hear the bells chime  
Mass confusion is all the new rage  
But you'd better stand your ground  
Till the sound echoes--stop ignoring me!

False sounds won't let them understand  
Deaf to your yells, I'm leading the band  
Dress right cause your line is a disaster  
You shouldn't have any void.

This is not how it once was.  
The class is hanging from a thread cause  
I was only a compulsive liar when I thought  
It's just a bunch of freshmen who will grow up and stop ignoring me.

There's a disturbance in the formation.  
Correct it and watch your curve.  
Dynamic movement is so unclear now.

Tonight is your final test  
As the neighborhood hears  
And you freshmen are failing.  
The alumni watching ya  
Calling Kristen and Joshua!

_I don't want to play in the marching band.  
I don't want to play in the marching band.  
I don't want to play in the marching band.  
I don't want to play in the marching band._

Well, I'm the class of '13 in a grade that's pretty hard.  
A hostage of the band drafted into color guard.  
The last of the oboes with an uncommon sound  
But I can't play it here, it's to the gun I'm bound.

We are a high school with arbitrary borders.  
No loyalty to this team drawn at random  
Out of order

Well, I want to march all the way to the endzone.  
Not far beyond the trumpets, I will not go alone.  
The goal for the underclass, yeah, that's what I meant  
Where the value of your horn is not held in contempt.

I can hear the sound of the trumpet play  
Believe it or not, we're doing okay.  
We learned it all at a different stage  
And I don't give a rip about you middle-age!

Class ignoring me  
_I don't want to play in the marching band._  
Class ignoring me_  
I don't want to play in the marching band._  
Class ignoring me  
_I don't want to play in the marching band._  
Class ignoring me  
_I don't want to play in the marching band._


	18. Hear the Sound

Well, I'm stepping down now  
Down onto the floor  
You'll play above me now  
On the tiers indoors.

I'll be on the surface  
You'll be on the top.  
I'll be in your service  
Till the music stops.

Well I, I just want to hear the sound  
And I want to find the love you've found.  
Well I, I just want to hear the sound  
From my podium above the ground.

You've been wasted  
Cause I made you rest  
And I've been chasing  
Dreams of being best.

Dip your reed in water  
Cause it's time to play  
Let your pitch rise higher  
I will take the blame.

I was on the podium  
Reaching higher ground  
But the marching halted  
When I said "and down."

Though it's gone forever  
It's never too late  
You are growing up now  
I know you'll do great.


End file.
